I don't want this kind of K-san
by chemarun
Summary: The usual 'DIE AND REBORN' stuff. Boring, I know. Even the protag is boring when he died too. Just when he decided to be a Abarenbo Shogun, he found out he was in fact, Yamcha. "No, no, no ,nope. F*ck this sh*t. They called it reborn for a reason. I have enough of this. It's time for Mochida Kensuke to take control! " Warnings: Foul languages and dirty jokes. *rewritten*
1. Dragon Quest is the best game series omg

**Disclaimer: Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

* * *

Once, there was a kid who believed in 'once upon a time'. And the kid, upon reaching adulthood, became the most average person in Japan with the word _otaku_ in their list of characteristics, right under to the word _megane_.

K-san.

Growing with beauty queen of older sister and _Junon Boy_ as little brother, K-san learned that their ultimate average face was useless and forced to use only their brain as the main weapon. Graduated from _TouDai_ , K-san ready to become another useful person in the society that jerked off to fictional characters.

And it happened.

K-san died.

Hit by a trunk drove by a drunk after they went to _konbini_ to buy dinner.

How pathetic, K-san.

To die like that, is it okay with you?

 _"_ _Hell no. OnePunch Man is still ongoing, dammit."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _ **So then let's restart and don't forget to jot down the spell of resurrection.**_

* * *

 **I just want to write fanfic again. And KHR is the top in my list. Meh.**

 **Also, just google the words that you don't know. Don't expect me to explain it, I'm not your teacher and since I'm a rabid fan of GinTama, expect foul languages and dirty, black humour.**

 **Chemarun over and out, yo.**


	2. Where's the bar, dude

**Disclaimer:** **Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

 **A/N: I rewrote the story starting from this chapter because I'm finally sober and everything looks like shit.**

* * *

By the time I regained my conscious, it was no longer the beginning.

The feeling of now was the same as the previous moment in my life when I realized it was a dream I have no recollection of how it begins. I drifted slowly, following the course of this dream. It was just a mere dream, but I can't seem to be able to conceive myself of that. The warmth that warped my whole body was oddly familiar but it was the calmness of my mind disturbed me. It was killing my thoughts slowly, as if it wanted me to forget everything I knew.

 **It scared me.**

But no matter how much I struggled, the sense of serenity kept eating me alive.

My memories were not worth fighting, it was filled with mud and dirt. There was barely enough pleasant memories for me to live normally but it were what make me what I am now.

 **I don't want to lose it.**

The only thing that was mine and mine alone.

 _But in this matter, do you have a choice?_

At least give me a drink while I play a game, dammit.

 _Then, we shall._

.

.

.

 _ **The lack of arbiter to tell me that I'm dead and going to be reincarnated was worrying.  
**_

* * *

 **Stopping here because meh, why not?**


	3. Monologuing 101

**Disclaimer:** **Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

* * *

I knew I was dead.

I knew I was reincarnated.

However I knew not of the reason why.

But reason and logic can fuck themselves because I'm enjoying this second life as much as I could because bruh, I'm hot as hell.

But, it does sound slightly narcissist for 14 years old to call himself hot, right?

 **WRONG.**

It was acceptable if the said 14 years old was me.

 ** _Mochida Kensuke._**

The best looking, smartest and strongest (if you ignore the existence of a certain boxing club's president and a certain disciplinary committee's president).

The most perfect guy in the town (because there might be another perfect guy in the neighbouring town but please doubt that fact because duh).

 ** _剣_** ** _介_**

Because of my name and my admiration of samurai, I practiced Kendo to pass time. Thanks to that haste decision, my popularity increased.

After all, girls love _swords_ , don't they?

I meant, just look at JUMP popularity poll, characters with sword always lead.

But seriously man, my luck was so good in this life! What could possibly happen?

.

.

.

 ** _Never said 'What could possibly happen' because some 'thing' will happen and the 'thing' will fuck your ass raw just in time before horse-riding class._**

* * *

 **Thank you taking time to read this thing (lol) and now to reply the review.**

 ** _Sydney Jane Dale: My writing is simple because I lacks talents lol. And you're welcome even though inspiring is the last thing in my mind when I posted this 'thing'._**

 ** _MonaTheWeirdo: Okay I'm so lost with the latest current. It's been a while since I actively participate in KHR fandom or any fandom and I just have to ask, what the hell is OC-SI? Can someone explain it? I know asking uncle google is the fast way but humour m- Ah wait, found it. By the way if it self-insert, I will be running amok already. Who the hell can survive in that world?!  
_**

 ** _MoonStar1312: I want to know too._**


	4. When you lost your girl to Not-Vegeta

**Disclaimer:** **Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

* * *

Today was the day I have been waiting for my entire life after being reincarnated.

The day I would finally got myself the school's idol as my first girlfriend.

I couldn't convey in words the excited and anxious feelings of mine. It muddled up together to the point I couldn't even think properly. But I got to remain calm and maintain my cool personality.

The school idol, Sasagawa Kyoko was a junior of mine and in the same committee as me. We were definitely connected by the red string. With her good looks and her kindness, no doubt the nickname _Tenshi_ fit her so perfectly. Of course some girls might not like her as she was deemed to perfect to the point she might passed as fake. But hey, you don't see me complaining about _Usui Takumi_ so, shut up and let me bask under her cute angelic smile.

* * *

Today, I accidentally came across with her on the way to school.

Actually, it was not an accident as I already memorized her schedule. Hah, things I do to graduate from being a virgin.

Everything went so well until we reached the school's gate.

I was sent flying into the arm another handsome guy in the school, Yamamoto Takeshi. Yeah, you heard me right. I was sent flying, no matter how ridiculous that sounds like. Thanks to the Baseball Club's ace as he caught me with no difficulty and gave me no injuries. Nice kid Yamamoto.

On the other hand, the kid that sent me flying was so dead. Sending me flying was one thing. Confessing to my girlfriend-to-be clad only in boxer was another thing.

I gave him my thank you punch without a second thought.

* * *

Today was the day I never thought will come.

I was going to fight scrawny kid whose high pitched voice sounds perfect if he was to be a Shounen JUMP's protagonist.

What a fucking joke.

There was no way I will lose. My opponent was just a mere first year with no experience in fighting whatsoever and even if he managed to score a point, the red flag for his victory won't be raised for the referee was one of my loyal members. Poor guy, he only wasted his time fighting a losing battle.

 ** _'Sasagawa Kyoko is mine.'_**

Today was a day I will never forget.

The moment I lied on the gym's floor, I could only stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my cheeks. Everything happened so fast.

I was leading the match. That perverted stalker who bravely confessed to Kyoko half-naked was no longer brave. Even with the _shina_ i gave to him by Yamamoto, he can barely blocked my attack. A single swing and his _shinai_ went flying. Probably knowing how hopeless his situation, he ran away but still remained in the gym.

 _'If he runs away earlier, this will end earlier, dammit. But then, that would be too easy, right?'_

Even when hunting girls in _Galge,_ I prefer to hunt the girls which were difficult to capture because the moment when they confessed to me under the _sakura_ tree, it was if I had reach _Enlightment_.

Of course, the most satisfying part was the part when I got to see them naked.

So, let finished this slightly meaningful match.

But all of the sudden I was pushed down with that Sawada kid straddling me. His eyes were different, gone was the gentle big eyes. There was only eyes glistered with fiery determination. I hope he's was not bisexual because this position and his behaviour might cause unwanted rumours later.

It sent shivers down my spine. Not good. NOT GOOD. In my second life, never once my flight or fight switch went to flight but this moment was different.

 **I need to get away from him.**

Too late though. He grabbed a handful of my hair and ripped them off. Yup, you heard it right. **HE FUCKING RIPPED MY HAIR OFF.** While I can only hold my anguish, the referee refrained from confirming Sawada's victory until I was fully bald. I can certainly praise him for listening to my instruction.

Not only I lost Kyoko, I lost my hairs as well.

But even such despair can't shift my attention from the sudden realization.

It took me too long to realize the plain truth that God had been slapping into my face for a while.

The truth that Conan found out by discovering the word ' _Namimori_ '. I might be a failure as a Japanese and as an ex-student of _TouDai_ for not noticing such obvious detail. After all the town of _Namimori_ only existed in one place and one place only.

In the universe where _Katekyo Hitman Reborn_ took place.

That information meant only one thing.

I'm the first antagonist who ended up as a side character for the rest of the series.

.

.

.

 _ **Being the first antagonist is agonizing. I mean, do you even remember Yamcha?**_

* * *

 **I will be more serious and write things properly.  
**

 _ **MoonStar1312: I like you. I like you very much.  
**_


	5. It was fun until you remember life

**Disclaimer:** **Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

* * *

Right now, I was currently running for my life from a very dangerous and angry older brother. Turned out he was displeased by the fact that I tried to use yesterday match to get his little sister to bed. Well, he wasn't the only one who was upset. Thanks to that Sawada kid, my popularity plummeted down to earth as fast as girls' panties when they met Tom-san. Now, I was just a **_ma_** _tomo ni **da** karetakunai **o** toko (men no one want to date)_, in short MADAO.

But damn, Sasagawa sure can run! What a waste of talent for him to remain in the futureless Boxing Club.

 ** _'He is wasting his time.'_**

Me too because rather than practicing my scheduled swinging, I had to run for my life from an angry silver kangaroo.

 _'Might as well take the chance to improve my stamina.'_

And I continued running until it was time for the school to start and then both of us started running properly, this time against each other so we don't get our ass kicked by the _Maou_ , Hibari Kyouya. Fighting with Sasagawa was one thing but tasting tonfa with your face was another thing. A hit was enough for your brain to compact your whole life in 7 minutes. Now that I remembered how the Reborn's series goes, the fear for the _Maou_ increased. Call me a coward but when someone take a drug that could paralyzed a grown elephant and can still walk around, you got to be afraid, very afraid because Saitama was not in this universe to tell you that everything will be okay as long as you practiced the three key principles of Shounen JUMP.

In the end, we were late and got beaten by the _Maou_.

* * *

The after school club's training was hellish. The juniors kept glancing at me and the seniors didn't even hide their snickering. Compared to the beginning of the year when they practically worshipped me, now I was scorned, the object of jokes, just because I lost to a wimpy kid. Their judging eyes, filled with sympathy and contempt were stabbing my existence and I found myself shying away, scared because I knew those eyes so well. I had seen those eyes so many times I can't even forget it even though I died.

 ** _The eyes of the people around me in when I was K-san._**

All the sympathy they shown as I was not as good looking as my siblings.

The contempt they desperately trying to hid as I tried to live my life straightforwardly.

In this world, this life as well, they kept hunting me.

Even though I was reincarnated as a different person.

 **Even though I became something else entirely.**

Maybe to escape this fate of mine fully, I got to abandon everything I used to call mine in my previously life.

 _My memories._

 ** _My name._**

.

.

.

 ** _To fell in love, you got to forget you ex first!_**

* * *

 **Writing is hard.  
**

 **How do you write something.**

 **But I got to keep writing to improve.**

 **But writing is hard.**

 **I want to be a bear.**


	6. Tomodachi with a capital H

**Disclaimer:** **Everything in this fanfic belongs to their respective owners. KHR belongs to Akira Amano, Shuueisha and Artland.**

* * *

 _I hardly had any friend in my previous life._

 _It was not due to my lack of social skills, mind you. I just simply don't let anyone to get to close to my comfort zone. They are just acquaintances, classmates. Never more._

 _But there was a person who nearly crossed the boundary. However, I managed to cut the roots before they managed to grow in my garden._

 _It was from the same person I learned the concept of reincarnation._

 _Until now, despite forgetting the name and the face of the said person, their voice still rang softly in my ears, pronouncing each word perfectly to explain it to me._

 _Even now, I still wonder if the information was important to me. I remember it just in case._

* * *

Lazily flipping through the pages, I relaxed with my head rested on the palm of my left hand. Right now the story of Peter Pan seemed more interesting to me than anything in the world. He sure got it easy, spending time playing, fighting with an adult, killing a Lost Boy if he became an adult and etc. It must be nice not to think anything but games.

"I want to be Peter Pan," I breathed out, not noticing someone entered the classroom I was currently lazed at.

"So you can avoid your responsibilities, _Buchou_?" Someone intruded, "If you got time to daydream, please use it for the club."

I turned around and saw a childhood friend of mine, Natsume Souseki who was also the secretary for the Kendo Club. And just as you thought, one of the reasons of he becoming a secretary was due to his name which he shared with a Meiji era writer. His writing skill might not be on par with the said writer but it was relatively good for a middle school student. Not as good looking as me but still popular among girls, mostly due to his sadistic and flirty demeanor.

"Or would you rather," He gently put his hand on my shoulder and whispered directly near my ear, " _Spent it with me_?"

I poked his eyes and he fell to his knees, covering his eyes in pain.

"GOD DAMMI-"

That behavior of him to make everything seems so gay never fail to cheer me up. I let out a sigh, knowing that I can't hid my worries from him. He was annoying but I glad he was my friend.

.

.

.

 _ **It's not true friendship unless there's a rumour that both of you are gays for each other.**_

* * *

 **Where am I going with this.  
**

 **~.:REVIEW CORNER:.~**

 **Astraea : Thank you for the support ^^ I tried very hard to keep him IC because he appeared like two times in the series :/**

 **R &R to help me improve, please!**


End file.
